I am a single woman 37years old, all these years I could not find a right person for marriage. My parents did not actively try to me a partner, now I feel there is no hope for me. There is no options for women to marry outside of religion and no one would marry an older woman in Indian/asian culture. If I don’t want to be alone, is there an option for me to marry a non-muslim? This is a sensitive topic no one talks about, single muslims cannot stay true to religion and find a marriage partner. Please advise me, I don’t know what to do anymore.
Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,i
Sister we hope everything is well with you, and may Allah help you and strengthen you through your tough situation.
In regards to the situation at hand, parents need to be strongly educated about their responsibility of marrying off their children. It is something which Allah will ask about on the Day of Judgment, and delaying such an important Sunnah and necessity of life because of careers and education is strictly what the Quran opposes. Allah says, “If they are poor, Allah will enrichen them through His Grace.” (Surah Nur: 32) Parents need to consider which is more important: a career in which your child is unable to find marriage because of age, or a child able to marry early and consider finances and education with their spouse later on.
Having said that, it is impermissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. This is explicit in the Quran (Surah Baqarah: 221), and there are no exceptions within the Prophetic Tradition after this verse was revealed. We realize and sympathize with your pain, but going towards Haram routes will only bring down the anger of Allah, by which no one will find true love and happiness.
Instead, and this is my humble suggestion, I encourage you to bring your expectations closer to reality. You have mentioned a man from Indian/Asian culture not being interested in a 37-year old woman, but there are many, many men from other cultures who would welcome a marriage with a woman of this age. At this age, men will have had possibly one or two marriages from before, and we must be realistic and set our standards accordingly. We can still be happy with someone who had a partner from before, reminding ourselves that our Prophet’s wives were mainly widows, and marrying out of culture can bring true love, such as Musa (as), a man of Bani Israil, marrying the daughter of Shuaib (as), being from Arab culture. Love has no language and does not recognize borders.
I understand that these suggestions may not be ideal, but we do not live in an ideal world, we live in reality and have to set our expectations closer to reality, or else we are setting ourselves up for failure every time.
I apologize for the tone of this reply, but it is my genuine advice to not consider “settling for less”, but being content with Allah’s decision. He knows best when is the best time for my marriage, there is no set time for when to be married, only the time that Allah sets for us. Allah knows best.